I swear I didn't submit this

A local publication has a page dedicated to PostSecret-like confessions. This was my favorite from this month's issue.

Lightheaded Bella in a Red Dress

Since I got all burlesque-y there for a few weeks, I had the chance to attend an event that required a little vamping it up. Ok, so looking like one of those girls who slithers all over a grand piano while huskily giving oral to a microphone wasn't a requirement for attendance, it was a great excuse to buy a new dress and fishnets. Girls, you understand me right? Right.

Now I am not really a dress wearing kind of girl. Well, I take that back, if I'm in the mood I do occasionally like to dress up and look girly, but its the discomfort of it all that kills me. I mean really, who invented pantyhose, tights, heels, strapless bras and all the itchy accoutrements of what passes as mainsteam sexy these days anyway? By the time I get all doozied up and leave the house, I'm a raging sweatball of uncomfortable squirming grumpiness. But I fake it fairly well and pretend that this all comes easily and that I'd really not rather be wearing my flannel sock monkey jammies and chenille socks (as I am wearing right now by the way, sorry for the buzzkill).

Which brings me to my disclaimer: While it does appear that I wear the dress pretty well from all outward appearances, you do NOT want to see what is going on underneath there. It is not pretty. Can we say SPANX CITY???? Spanx as in, modern day girdle to hold in all your jiggly bits and give you that sexy flushed cheek look because your head is NOT GETTING ANY OXYGEN!!! Those garments should really be outlawed. Boys, in case you haven't got the gist of what I'm sayin' here yet, looking sexy is such a pain in the ass. You should kiss our feet and give us three hour back massages for even caring. Not even kidding.

But since I endured the torture of my "intimate body shaper" and sexy-as-fuck-as-long-as-I-don't-fall-down stripper heels, I'll be damned if I'm not going to show you the end result.

These last ones (that are obviously not taken from inside my closet) were taken by 13 Messages in a very, shall I say, seductive photo shoot. He already posted a couple of his favorites but here are a few of mine appropriate for ye olde blog.

I suppose I'll be retiring what I call my "Jessica Rabbit Dress" unless another fun event comes along worthy of such an effort, but it was fun to be all snazzy for one night at least. The Spanx however, I'm burning.

G'night.

xoxo,

Bella

two fails

I felt like posting tonight so excuse me while I spew some randomness at you.

I guess you can add "Burlesque School Dropout" to my list of labels. Out of six classes total I went to four of them I think. One miss was out of my control, the other was sheer intimidation. I never quite got over that hump of "just let go and have fun even if you look like a dancing chicken with a gimp leg" thing. I'm disappointed in myself, but also proud for giving it a go. I can make up the missed classes. Will I? I doubt it.

I've come a long way from shy intimidated wallflower to where I am now but I obviously have a long way to go to get to confident carefree Bella. Each new thing I try is a learning experience and lesson in self discovery and growth. This whole topic has been swirling around in my mind for a while now and I'd like to write it out and may do that eventually, whether in this forum or elsewhere we'll see.

On a sidenote, and something new that I will NOT be trying...Girlcrush's husband (I think I talked about them on my old blog, since deleted. Don't worry, you didn't miss much) has been texting me a bit the last few days. A funny picture here, a silly joke there. He flirted, he vented, he asked me out, he asked to fuck. He's tempting as he is quite attractive, witty, smart, funny as hell and we have a good banter. But my head says that this situation is a recipe for bad news and serious drama for various reasons. I'm pulling the responsible swinger card and not going there. I told him so. He pouted. I rolled my eyes.

In order to avoid an abrupt end to this post, I'm putting a quote here. That works right? Peace out.

Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time. ~Author Unknown

G'night.
xoxo,
Bella

goodbye sin city

C-Man gave an excellent recount of our last evening in Vegas together but I'll add my perspective here, as always. C-Man is quite the planner and knowing that we would have very limited time in Vegas for sight-seeeing, he had suggested a champagne filled limo tour of some of the highlights. Perfect plan! M and I got gorgeous for our boys and tumbled (yeah, that's a pretty literal description I'd say) into the limo and basically traded husbands. M claimed territory next to Mr. Man and C-Man and I sat sort of together. In hindsight, I sould have sat in C-Man's lap the entire time but I suppose I'll save that for the next limo ride.

It was lovely and sexy. The highlights of which were the free flowing champagne, posing for pictures at the Las Vegas sign, watching the Bellagio Fountain Show and of course, The Fremont Street Experience (which I loved btw)! We are having a great time, laughing, site seeing, talking...and then C-Man points to the other side of the limo and there is M all up in Mr. Man's bizniz! Now why, at this point, I didn't jump C-Man in the limo I will never know. Sometimes I am a complete idiot. And sometimes, I'm still that really shy girl who doesn't quite know what to do with herself.

As N 2 Deep said, we go back to the hotel. C-Man's account of M's boxing out of Mr. Man in the elevator at our floor is spot on but I honestly didn't realize that was happening until he filled me in on M's clever man trapping skilz. I wasn't sure how the swap was going to go down but I guess I didn't need to worry!

Kissing another man in public seems almost naughtier than fucking him in private. Have I mentioned that I laid a quick but passionate kiss on him in the Bellagio earlier? No? Well I did and he loved it I must say. Kissing in the hallway on the way to our room just felt so....dirty...I like dirty.

Vegas in general, the crazy travel schedule and the time difference had made us very worn out lovers. But we managed I assure you. As C-Man said, the rest is a bit hazy. Like an erotic dream you can't quite remember in the morning but try really hard to so you can relive it throughout the day. There was a perfect combo of fucking, cuddling and napping. Enough said.

We had to say goodbye to them that "morning" since our flight was so damn early. Sleep was way down the priority list and Mr. Man even headed to the casino after his adventures with M. I got a text from Mr. Man on his way to the slot machines..."Have fun? I sure did". Cracked me up. Like we'd just been to Disneyworld or something. I love him and I love that M makes him feel so good.

We'll see them again in a little over a month when they make their way south again. I am liking this arrangement very much.

xoxo,
Bella

First toy review - Neon Luv Touch Mini Mite

I've always been intrigued by other blogger's sex toy reviews and have been mildly interested in doing some of my own but hadn't pursued it. Someone read my mind because the fine folks at TheirToys.com asked if I'd like to review one of their products here on Bella. Of course I said yes. I mean this IS a sex blog and I AM into sex, and they DO sell sex toys...so what's to refuse?

Within a few days I received, free of charge, the Neon Luv Touch Mini Mite to, ahem, play with. Now, I love mini vibrators. Love them. Maybe because they're so cute, compact and portable, and did I mention cute? However, it has been my experience that when it comes to making me cum, mini vibes tend to fall a bit short. I mean, they can get the job done but less, um, powerfully, or something. If you know me at all, you know that my motto is "never say never" and I especially never say never to trying a new vibe. And yeah, they're so damn adorable that I can't resist them anyway. Kind of like musicians. But that's another post.

The product arrived in very discreet packaging which is always important in keeping secret sexy side activities on the down low from nosy mail carriers and neighbors. And look how cute! And pink! I immediately named her Pixie. What? I name all my sex toys. Gah, y'all are so weird.

The Luv Touch is quite inexpensive ($9.99 on TheirToys.com), requires one AA battery and comes in a variety of bright colors and even Glow in the Dark! The vibe feels great to the touch, almost silky-like. Also, notice the four different head attachments. My first mission? To test out each head to see how they felt on my lady bits and find my favorite one. The one that would send me over the edge into, well, you know, mini vibe bliss. And so, I inserted a battery and got busy.

Positives: Silky feel of the vibe in my hand, compact size, great color, perfect for travel or throwing in your purse or pocket on date night (yeah, I go on THOSE kind of dates), had enough power to potentially get me off, the four different heads were great (my favorite was the 2nd one in case you were wondering), easy clean up with soap and water, and it is waterproof, although I didn't test that feature.

Negatives: A bit noisy although I have come to expect that from less expensive toys. The biggest negative was the on/off switch. The top third (or bottom third, depending on how you look at it) of the vibe twists to either an "on", "off" or "open" position. At first it worked fine but as I would turn it off to change out the heads, it started to become more difficult to turn back on. It appeared that the top of the vibe wasn't pressing down on the battery hard enough to make it vibrate. This problem kind of ruined the mood for me.

Conclusion: While I was pleased with the silky feel, size, cuteness and vibration strength, I was unable to orgasm due to the on/off issue. I would definitely try another one of these in hopes that my particular vibe was an anomaly because I really do want to like this toy.

Rating: C

I hope you enjoyed my first (but hopefully not last) toy review!

Goodnight all.

xoxo,
Bella