Kids these days

So, 22 year old cutie pie on OkC just asked me to be part of a reverse gangbang. I asked him if he wanted me to chaperone or participate. Haha. Happy Thanksgiving to me.

FYI: I am not doing this BTW. Maybe. Kidding. Really.

Sage advice

From a sweet friend, (totally cuddleable too, so I hear anyway).....

"You deserve a cuddle. Go get that shit. No apologies."

Xoxo,
Bella

loneliness

I've been thinking a lot about this lately...

I'm missing the simplicity of cuddling and hand holding and kissing and hair stroking and all that cheesy lovey stuff that a girl sometimes craves. I think it goes deeper than than too but I can't quite put my finger on it. I'd like someone to just "get me", as lame as that sounds. Of course I want the crazy, frantic, clothes ripping sex too but goddammit, I guess I just want it ALL. Mr. Man and I have talked about it and I don't know...Something just feels way off.

I fear I'm on the road to becoming one of those desperate lonely married women who turn into two pack a day smokers, with sponge rollers in their hair, flashing the UPS man out of sheer desperation. I exaggerate. God, I hope anyway.

I don't like being lonely. Because that, in addition to boredom, is a dangerous combination. Seeking the comfort of strangers and wanting them to provide you with something they can't give can be scary shit.

Anyway. These are things I think about late at night when I can't sleep.

I had a "sleep"over at Cash's the other night. More on that another time, if the mood strikes me to write about it.

xoxo,
Bella

you know you love these lists

• Fun night out with sexy man friend last night. Totally worth the sleepy brain I have today.
• I just gave some random dude a bar recommendation even though I had no clue what I was talking about. 
• I had all the feelz today but managed to stifle them before doing something stupid. Thanks to some willing distractions.
• As per my usual, boredom and restlessness is going to cause me trouble at some point. Bring it on.
• If you are not into me, just say so. I will not be offended. Its a time saver for both of us.
• If you are into me, just say so. I will not be offended. Its a time saver for both of us.
• My creative side is dormant lately. I'd like to take some new pictures but am lacking in inspiration. And the Girls Gone Wild boob flash is so overdone. 
• Mr. Man and new girl aren't seeing each other anymore. It was fun, but short lived. Don't be so needy ladies. My man likes his space.
• Witty, sarcastic, flirty banter is sexy. Introducing yourself by asking "what are you wearing", is not.

These tidbits for life brought to you by sleepy Bella.

friday recap

Sooooo....Friday was fun. I'm counting my first foray into singleguydome a success.

I got to Cash's house around 1:00 and got big hugs first thing. He's a serious cutie, different from most of the men in my past. Long hair, musician, artsy, creative, laid back. I immediately felt comfortable with him. I texted Mr. Man to let him know that I wasn't getting that serial killer vibe and all was well. Cash gave me the tour of his very unique and cool abode and we ended up in the kitchen talking about randomness. He's very easy to talk to and very... "chill" is the word that comes to mind.

Kissing happened (excellent, by the way) and I don't quite remember how, but I ended up with the top half of my dress pulled down, boobs out, and on the floor against the refrigerator with his cock in my mouth. Not a bad place to be at all. It wasn't long before I had a clothespin on my left nipple (that surprised me) and a face covered with hot cum. Also not a bad situation to be in, in my opinion.

We hung out in his kitchen for a bit and poor guy had to stall a friend from coming over so we could finish our business. Ha. Of course the last laugh was on me when I did the equivalent of the walk of shame in my car as I passed said friend in the driveway later as I left. But hey, I got a very polite hat tip. Such a gentleman.

We eventually ended up in the bedroom and collapsed onto his amazingly comfortable bed that I wanted to steal and take home with me. We talked a lot (dude has some crazy ass interesting stories to tell) and blow job #2 happened because, cock is yummy. Sidenote: I totally don't get those ladies who don't like giving head. Does not compute. I happen to love the feeling of power and control it gives me and simply making my partner feel good in that way. But some would say I'm a weirdo so there's that.

In case you're wondering, cock was not introduced to pussy during this visit. Which was just as well because its ladytime down there and while I'm not opposed to a good fucking during that time of the month, it's not a particular favorite. And there's that whole "I feel about as sexy as a gunny sack" thing too. Next time maybe.

It was a fun few hours and we've left the door open for future visits. I hope I'm not jinxing myself here but I feel very lucky to have only had positive sexual experiences so far while on this open marriage journey. I was thinking the other day about the awesome and interesting people I've met since this all started a few years ago. People that I never would have met otherwise and definitely not in this sex positive capacity. That's probably material for another post but I'm glad the streak of favorable sexual experiences continued on Friday.

xoxo,
Bella
  

Friday in five sentences

I met Cash today and sexy things happened. He's yummy and damn cool.

Mr. Man is on an overnight with Ladyfriend tonight.

More later. I'm beat.

i want to squeeze his lil' cheeks

There is this adorable little 22 year old kid who says he likes older women and he looks like Liam Hemsworth and I just want to pick him up and put him in my pocket and carry him around because he is THAT adorable. But...born in the 1990s y'all....THE 1990s...I was a freshmen in high school when this baby face was born....I can't go there...but he is ADORABLE...But that's just wrong...although not really...he is legal...but no...just no...although I bet I could teach him a few things...NO...

Soapy

that's some date

Mr. Man made it home safe and sound. We "debriefed" this morning and he is planning to see her again! I never feel its really my place to recount his adventures here and as long as he and I talk about what needs to be discussed, I don't feel the need to share those details with the internet. Its his story and he is free to share it if he wishes,and I kind of wish he would because it sounded super hot! But suffice it to say that sexual activity occurred, along with dinner and a movie. He had a very fun evening with a sweet sexy lady and is a happy man this morning. And that makes me happy too.

Cash kept me in good company last night and we have plans to get together this Friday. Squeeee! I'm very excited to meet him and just plain hang out with him in person. Meeting up with an unattached guy is completely new for me, and not really something I ever thought I'd do. But hell, I never dreamed I'd be in an open marriage until a few years ago either. Life is funny. And pretty damn cool sometimes.

xoxo,
Bella

new things

Synopsis...Mr. Man is out on a date, things with New Guy (who shall be known as "Cash" from here on out) have been progressing and a meeting is in the works very soon, and my brain finally clicked over, stopped being a bitch and freed me from something that had been holding me mentally hostage for months. These are all good things y'all. And I needed some fucking good things to happen.

So, as I mentioned, Mr. Man went on a first date with a new lady friend tonight and I'm halfway waiting up for him and halfway recovering from some serious masturbation on film. I haven't talked to her but I've seen her picture and she's beautiful. Lovely even. Mr. Man has been chatting with her for a couple of weeks now and is quite smitten. Tonight is their first face to face meeting and sex was not on the table (so to speak) for tonight but you never know what may happen in the heat of the moment and he has full "permission" to do whatever, within our rules. Otherwise, the plan was dinner and the drive-in movie I believe. I helped him pick out his shirt, reminded him to have mints on hand and sent that crazy kid on his way. I'm crossing my fingers that they hit it off, and yes dear readers, you will be among the first to know.

Cash and I have been texting a lot and I'm not sure how I'm going to have my first meeting with him and NOT fuck him, to be quite honest. As I told him, I am cautiously optimistic about this. He's single at the moment, which is new for me, and I think a huge positive. He knows what I want from this and I know what he wants and they are simpatico. Friends with benefits, no strings, no drama, and goddamn it, we actually like each other a lot on a vanilla level. He contacted me on OKC and when I checked out his profile it was way different from the standard drivel, really interesting and well, he intrigued me. He's just...different, in a cool way and so far we seem to click well. Plus, he's hot and is interested in many of the same things sexually, that I am. We're hoping to meet up in the next week or two. Fingers crossed. I've already broken a few rules with this kid...I gave him this blog address, told him my real name, sent him naked pics that included my face, AND fucking came for him on video. If I ever run for public office and dude is pissed at me, I am so screwed.

In other news, I'm finally moving past some things in mah brain and that's good, although there are bittersweet mixed emotions still lingering that will always be there I suspect. My head took a lot of extra time to catch up with the reality of the situation and I am finally there and can breathe again. I know that's vague but that's how it is. Life ain't easy and thank goodness it isn't or we'd never learn anything from it. So sez I.

Oh, and lastly, I took a hot bath tonight and it was delicious. And no, Mr. Man still isn't home so stop asking.

xoxo,
Bella